South Asian Diaspora in a Blending Nation: Some Issues.
A book review: “I Want My Son Back” A Mother's Cry, by Uma Eyyunni, M.D., Author House, Bloomington, Indiana 47403, ISBN 1-4208-0147-3, 2004, 1-207.
Introduction: It is now clear that South Asians are becoming a force that the “mainstream” population that has to be recognized and accommodated. As we progress towards the third decade of 2000, much of the country will be a blended nation. In the U.S.A. presidential elections of 2008, we saw a clear emphatic demonstration of demographic forces. We, South Asians, were categorized, right or wrong, as “model minorities”, as a goal oriented ethnic group. As we all know, what affects all human groups affects South Asians too. Are we prepared for changes in our adopted motherland? How best can we develop coping mechanisms? Stepping back for a moment into our history, take for example the situation in India, most have extended families that provided the support mechanisms. In USA for example, many ethnic minorities rarely have those support mechanisms and you have to resolve issues on your own. And how do persons express their feelings and develop methods, if any, to resolve these issues. Some have used creative writing to cope up with the issues, looking for any support out there. Others have sought help with pastoral communities for help that unfortunately is very minimal at this time for South Asians. Historically speaking, in USA, the Jewish groups were in similar situations in 1930’s and ‘40’s. The Afro-American ethnic groups have had strong pastoral supports, thru their churches, for several years.
Fiction as the “Media as a Message”:
We all owe a debt of gratitude for Marshall McLuhan, for pointing out that multiple media provides the link(s) to convey the message(s). May I add, in italics, to the quote: message should not be lost? The use of fiction in conveying a message and a plea for help is universal in any language. The fictitious characters and places can be imaginary and / or real in fact but do make powerful reading. Many times, after reading a book like this carefully, one can get motivated in some fashion or other to help. In this process, it does not matter regarding the author(s) real or imaginary relationship to reader is. One such book, “I Want My Son Back”, very convincingly written work by Uma Eyyunni, a Physician makes you read and look at the issues to reflect, “how can we help”. The book, without divulging the details presents the reader of the travails of Anna and Robert (fictitious names and parents here ) that lead a tranquil life with a growing family, two children that were raised from infancy in USA, when, one of the older children has an non-traumatic accident (for want of better word here) ending with the schizophrenia. As most people know, individuals struggling with schizophrenia, some hear “inner” voices that normal individuals are not hearing. They suspect that their mind is being read by others and controlling them. Their vocalizations may not make sense. Some affected individuals may sit for a long time periods without moving or saying anything, or may seem perfectly fine until they begin to converse, it may be irrational reflecting their thought processes. They fear that others may harm them. These experiences are terrifying and can cause fearfulness, withdrawal, or extreme agitation in the care givers. Many afflicted with schizophrenia have difficulty in holding a job or caring for themselves. No need to say, this is stressful on their families. These situations affect the society they live in as well. Anna and Robert go through these hardships. One of the main issues here is the lack of “awareness" in South Asian society at large. Many of South Asian immigrants have been the cream of the society. Most of the time we are all in denial, that, "it won't happen to us". However the simple truth that is, it can happen to anybody. The social stigma associated with this illness is exponentially high in South Asian community compared to other communities. The social interactions seen with other chronic illnesses such as cancer or diabetes are sympathy and empathy. When it comes to say mental disorders, autism, etc. this replaced by avoidance, shame, anger, resentment and fear of the affected member. Family is treated likewise.
Other Issues:
Even more are the problems health insurance (insurance companies only pay for 30days of hospitalization in a lifetime), costs of expensive medications (not covered mostly) and long term resolution of issues are to be brought into attention. Some readers may not be aware that primary care is even more limited. With HIPPA laws, the concerned parents and family members cannot even discuss with the physicians rendering care. If the individual needs more supervised and structured care, the family would have to drain their life’s savings to pay for such services. Mental illnesses, such as schizophrenia, severe depression, severe bipolar disorder, mental retardation, alcohol, autism and drug addiction etc are equal opportunity illnesses. Universal in every community in all walks of lives. Back to the book, Anna wants her son back like a normal child. This not just a "mother's cry, it is a “parents' cry” or even a “family's cry”, families are left alone in the society. Some more information including excerpts is available at www.motherscry.net also which please check.
Coping Mechanisms: Needs vs. Potential Resources
Just what can we do? First and foremost be sensitive. Where can someone look for help beyond traditional sources? Is this the time for us to have support mechanisms within our community of extended families? A community includes all of us. Have half-way-homes organized at various geographical locations that can help individuals in need? Our goal is to enable person and families with these overwhelming special needs to flourish. They need not be “passive objects” that that are supported by special programs like special accommodations, counseling etc. Our goal is to help these persons in handling the rigors of “American Life” expectations, including activities of daily living. The passion in Western Societies is on “performance”, commercialization of human relationships, society’s delusional optimism, all these need to be handled with patience and purpose. Reverence for human life is important. This is a two way street. If you identify someone (a family) that has special needs, find some time to spend a day with them to lighten their needs. Try to provide caregivers, a Day of Pampering. Can we all schedule a day or weekend to do this?
Support Mechanisms: How can we all help?
Increase awareness, by education, organize support groups and caring circles. Set up extended family support groups for all, taking care of those with special needs. Support groups can help in obtaining information and where resources are. Special needs support groups can promote interfamily communications. Hosting social functions. Increase the awareness, acceptance of special needs children and adults.
Pastoral Resources:
For want of a better word, permit me to use Hindu Mandirs (may substitute the word with Jain, Buddhist and similar centers) how can they begin to help? For a start they can have a targeted committee to look into the special needs groups. One could set up a day in the week or month when these individuals can come and spend time in worship. Allocate some funds for this needy group. As most mandirs had been built in recent years, they fulfill ADL needs. If not that area needs to be addressed. The traditional principle of mandirs is to promote not only for worship but also being community centers that encourage every member to be a resource for others. Mandirs should emphasize the need for support. This provides satisfaction and salvation for both the helpers and the helped in a sanctified setting.
Create a Friendship Connection:
What is it? My child with special needs will soon graduate after lifetime of difficulties and services needs ... yet does a friend! We should set up for every challenged person to say “my friend(s) is (are) coming to see me (us)...” How can we start developing in these areas? With contacts and interaction with community these special needs families will let us know of these events.
Other Resources:
We have a number of South Asian and Mandir Websites where in the existing site with a link to special needs contacts in their areas. Little later multiple links to various cities where mandirs are in USA can provide this information. Utilize National Association Mental Illnesses (NAMI) model incorporating the appropriate south Asians socio cultural needs. With 38 % of South Asian Physicians in USA, a psychiatrist and related professionals may write an insert to the resource NAMI manual. This can be at a National Website like AAPI. Already I am aware that some very thoughtful persons have developed group homes of South Asians, like India Home in NYC, in USA and use these individuals as resource persons to expand these institutions.
Akkaraju Sarma, MD. Akkaraju1@verizon.net
Huntingdon Valley, Pa. 19006.
215-914-0236. Leave a message and we will call you back.
